Saturday, January 26, 2013

I really don't know what to do.  I'm not his mother.  It's not my place in his life. 

Maybe I just don't have a place in his life.  Maybe that's what this is all about.

I TOLD him this was a deal breaker for me.  So he went out and did it again 2 weeks ago.  Then wondered why I pulled away from him for two weeks. 

I finally came around, and he goes and does it the very next day! 

I can't do this.  I can't need to spend my life worrying about it, not trusting him.  I won't live like that. 

And honestly, at this point, I don't trust him.  Obviously.  I sent someone out to spy on him last night.  I'm not proud of it, but that's what happened.  I couldn't reach him. 

I finally blew up.  Told him I'm thinking of not coming back.  At this point, if I didn't love my job so much, I wouldn't go back.  I know.  There are issues at work too that are adding to this stress. 

Right now, if I could, I'd transfer to Calgary and be done with this whole mess.  I'm actually thinking of going back to work and working towards that.  A transfer out of here.  Or maybe it's just time to walk away.

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