Sunday, June 17, 2012

Today I booked a trailer.  I ordered a trailer hitch online, and I'm looking for someone to install it for me on Wednesday night.  It should be here either Tuesday or Wednesday, so I'm hoping I can get it on before I go to Alberta.  If not, no problem.  I'll take it with me to get it installed in Calgary.  The trailer is being picked up on Friday morning at 7am.

I am so excited to pick my daughter up.  We haven't lived together in years.  When I left, she didn't want to come with me.  So I arranged for her to stay until she was done high school.  Well, she graduated.  She has to take a couple of additional classes this summer online, but she's basically done. 

I need to clean out my room.  I have one room here that is full of all my stuff.  That is the room Adrienne is moving into.  So all my stuff has to go.  I have no idea where it's going to go.  I do have access to a U-Haul storage locker for 1 month - it's included with the trailer rental.  So I think I'm going to take advantage. 

I don't really want to put my stuff into storage though, so I have no idea what I'm going to do about this.

Terry's been texting me today.  I figured I wouldn't hear from him again.  Guess I was wrong.  I asked him something today.  I asked him if he was happy.  He told me he was.  That tells me he's happy with the life he's chosen for himself.  He doesn't feel he's missing anything.  He's not interested at all in making changes and settling down. 

I'm not judging his choices.  That's not why I asked.  I asked because he hinted he wanted what we talked about in the past.  He actually asked me to move in with him.  His answer today told me he's not really into that.  He wants to keep his party lifestyle.  It does not work when someone is sitting at home. 

So it's helped me make a decision.  I'll be there for him as a friend if I can.  The biggest problem with that is he does not know what a friend is.  So I also need to keep that in mind. 

I can already see it.  In about 2 months - more likely much sooner - I'll be back here blogging about how I feel hurt, or used, or anything else. 

I have to accept that this is the lifestyle he's chosen for himself.  This is the lifestyle he wants.  Until he doesn't want it anymore, there's nothing that can be done to help him.  Period. 

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