Last night, Lee and I had a fight. Rather, he got mad at me, and I left. I'm such a mess I won't fight with him. It will only lead to things said that can't be taken back.
So I went out. Tammy invited me over - the whole reason Lee was upset with me to begin with. Tammy's been avoiding me lately. Last night I found out why. She's still smoking *#@(%. It upset me to see her in this state, so I went over to see Terry. He asked me to stop by. In about a half hour we were on our way to Tammys.
He was trying to talk her into stopping.
As much as it hurt last night, I'm glad I went. When we were talking on the way to Tammy's I told Terry why I didn't stick around. He didn't need to be around that crap. I was worried for him.
After we were there for just over an hour, Terry lit up too. I almost cried.
We left a few hours later. I sat with Terry and watched part of a movie. He had to go to bed for work, so I got up and left. I think he was hoping I'd stay, but there's no way.
As much as it hurt me to see what I saw last night, I think I needed to. No matter how much I care for these people, it doesn't change anything. Instead it breaks my heart. I hate to see these kids having to live like this. But it's not my baggage. I need to walk away from all of it before it becomes my baggage.