Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I am still overwhelmed with anxious energy right now.  I just had to keep writing. 

I updated my SP blog.  In it, I recommitted to finding a path to follow to help me stay focused over this next week.  It's going to be tough, but with a plan to focus on, I should be able to make it.

As I write this, I am texting my room mate.  Letting him know I realize he's hurting and I am sorry.  I am sorry I can't help him with that hurt.  Basically, I am being honest with him about what I'm feeling.  Don't think it'll help, but it is what it is. 

So, what am I going to do.

Today is Wednesday.  Do I even want to go for wings?  I'm not really sure.  Am I going to wait around for an invitation from Colin?  I would love to say no, but what do I do if he asks?  What do I say?  Do I go just to keep the peace?  Or do I make an excuse to not go?  I really don't even know anyone else to go to wings with.  And I don't want to go to the bar for wings alone.  Just not my thing.  Not that bar anyhow. 

Maybe I should think of something else for supper.  A nice home cooked supper would be nice tonight.  Especially since I'll be running for lunch today.  Yep.  I think that's the plan.  Cook a nice dinner at home.  Chicken breasts.  Veggies.  A potato or two.  Yep.  That sounds yummy.

Running W5D1HM today.  That'll help me sleep tonight. 

Tomorrow is Thursday.  Hmm.  Might run again at lunch.  Depends on how today goes.  How I feel tomorrow morning.  Listen to my body.  That's the key.  Wouldn't mind being able to go running tomorrow though.  It helps me work off this nervous energy I am building up right now. 

Thursday is Steak Night in town.  The steaks at the Beef are not very good.  We stopped going months ago.  I won't be going.  But I do need to have a plan for tomorrow night.  Otherwise I'll be sitting around waiting for Colin to come around again.  So NOT a good idea.  Maybe I should find someone to go for supper with tomorrow night.  I have been texting someone here lately.  I don't think there's any chemistry, but supper would be nice.  Or maybe I should just avoid that can of worms all together.

Marc has been asking me to come over and see the place.  He has offered me a room to rent.  Maybe that's not a good idea either tomorrow.  I don't really know. 

Friday I know.  I'm going to Noonan, ND.  My new hardhat will be in.  And it's prime rib night.  Yummy.  And I'll be going, Colin or no Colin. 

Saturday morning I have a race to run.

Maybe right after the race I should leave town.  Go to Regina for the weekend again.  Give Colin his space.  Who knows.  I really shouldn't spend the money on a road trip again.  My motorcycle needs new tires.  Should really put the $$ there and into savings for SF this October.

I know.  I need to clean up my resume and get it out to Enbridge.  I'll need to be dressed appropriately, so I can't deliver it today.  Why not tomorrow?  I can a fix and print it today.  Then deliver it tomorrow.  Then wait.  The worst that can happen? They don't call.  No biggie. 

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